Dear FRONTLINE

I am a 30 year old father of a 9-month old son. Your show simply stated the fact that most parents these days are so focused on "giving their children THINGS they didn't have when they were growing up," they have forgotten that nice cars, tv's, and vcr's can't replace the most important two things that every child needs.....Love and Attention.

John Tharpe
Nashville, TN

Dear FRONTLINE

I am saddened at the loss of innocence for these youth. Their actions will forever be a closed closet in their minds. Some will want to forget that it ever happened and yet moments, certain songs, etc. will trigger that memory. I am angered at parents who sought after worldly gain for themselves and their children. Their greatest riches were their children. As the parent of three 22, 20 and 16 there are rules and expectations. You're in by curfew, you call if you're going from point A to B. Supper is together. The list goes on. I involved myself in their schools, knew who their friends were, encouraged them and attended their sports programs. Saw to it that we attended church on Sunday and lived the principles we learned throughout the week.

It sounds like alot of work, but it has been worth it. My children aren't perfect and neither am I, but I thank my parents for giving me a solid foundation in which to parent and love my children.

Janet Paquin
Sanford, Maine

Dear FRONTLINE

Watching this program, I couldn't help but be reminded of the high school I attended. While I don't know that things ever got as "extreme" there as they did in conyers, georgia, there are some striking similarities. My school was an academically excellant school in a rich, white, "good Christian" community. And, at the same time, many of my classmates were out of control. Binge drinking, drug abuse, and casual sex were all common, but nobody ever really talked about them - they were just there.

In my opinion, the solution to these problems isn't found in church - after all, in my high school, most people were Christian, but it sure didn't seem to influence their behavior.

In my opinion, the real problem is the increasingly isolation of suburban life. At my high school, the kids were always complaining about how boring the town was, but they also had the attitude that to go into the city would be to take their lives into their hands. They seem to think that "bad things" don't happen in their community. They're spoiled by their parents, and they don't seem to realize that their actions have consequences. They often binge drink, have sex, and use drugs, but, to them, alchoholism, teen pregnancy, and drug addiction are things that happen "somewhere else."

Josh Burnett
Berkeley, CA

Dear FRONTLINE

Watching The Lost Children last night was a heart-wrenching 90 minutes. Had I glanced in a mirror as I viewed these lost children, I doubt the face reflecting anguish and disbelief would have been recognizable to me. My body ached with sadness for the "lost children" and their equally "lost parents." Such a waste of intelligent young minds. Unnerving as it was to view your program, much as I tossed and turned all night long with images of the self- destruction these young people seem bent upon,I am glad I watched. Shocking the sensibilities can be a wakeup

call.

audrey bailey
rialto, ca

Dear FRONTLINE

Watching this Frontline documentary reminded me just how blessed I was to have strict parents. Had I been out of the house after dark on a school night before I was a senior, you can bet I would have been under lock and key rather than hanging out in the pool house or guzzling a beer at a friend's house. But there is something more to it than that.

When I was a teen, I was involved in healthy extra-curicular activities and church events, which my parents often chaperoned. And if not them, my friends' parents did. If I had come close to stepping out of line, they would have approached my folks. The Rockdale kids you interviewed often complained of having nothing to do. Besides being abandoned emotionally by their parents, they were not encouraged to be on the yearbook staff, or run track, or play in the band. They were out there trashing around, sitting ducks for trouble, and I don't think they have any idea still what danger they were in. Their lives were void of parental attention and concern, hollow... and they looked for sex and alcohol to fill the void. By giving their bodies away, they only gained pain and shame.

One last thing I would like to add is for any teen or teacher reading this letter. It IS possible to remain a virgin past the age of 13. I am an attractive, single, intelligent 30-year-old virgin who still believes in waiting for marriage to have sex. We may be few but we do exist.

Traci Muller
Marietta, Georgia

Dear FRONTLINE

After watching the program, as a parent of 2 elementary school children, I am scared to death. I obvioulsy don't want this to happen to my children. On the other hand as a parent I have made a committment to parent my children the best that I can until they leave home.

I truely believe it is the parents responsibilty to raise their children. But I'm not stupid enough to think there will not be times when they make their own choices good or bad. But its the parents job to let them know what is expected of them, what the rules are and then to follow through. One of the sadest parts in the program to me is when one of the mothers was talking about how she had given up trying to enforce rules. All of the bickering and fighting was just too much stress for her. This only motivates me to NEVER give up being a parent.

Bill Small
hiram, ga

Dear FRONTLINE

What a riveting show! The three blond teens singing rap lyrics that described things I didn't even know about at 14! I had to recall my Dad, who was so dictatorial: grounding me all the time, lecturing/discussing with me drugs, sex, and the evils of Bob Dylan !. I resented him so much at 16, 17. Watching your production, I had to thank him in my heart he's dead now that he was so involved, evenif it seemed over-involved. He watched me like a hawk, and never simply threw up his hands in desperation or in laziness, which is what I think I saw the parents doing in your production. Sure I got into a bit of trouble it was the 60s, after all but--wow, I cannot imagine even now doing the things these kids are doing. The very least they could do is insist their kids get involved in a non-profit activity, like cleaning up the parking lots they throw Coke cans into, or answering phones during a PBS pledge drive . . .

Heather Harris
Philadelphia, PA

Dear FRONTLINE

The events of 1996 are not new to Conyers by a long shot. I have lived in Rockdale county all of my life and went through the Rockdale school system, graduating from Heritage High in 1985.

Even in the early 80's very similar activities went on in and around the Conyers area. I attended parties and get-togethers where much of the same activities took place. Sex, often with multiple partners, drug use, drinking and more. At the time, no one really thought about STDs. In retrospect, this was a game of Russian Roulette.

The story didn't end when I graduated. I had 4 siblings still in school - to one degree or another, all of them fell into similar groups - one so deeply involved, it nearly cost her her sanity when the whole thing came down around her - this just 2 years before the 1996 events.

As for parents - as far as my parents knew, I was attending a chaperoned event which was almost never the case. Even as recently as 1994, it was a game - claiming to be at one persons house to spend the night when in truth they are all over at a party. And it's not that the parents wanted to know what was going on, it's the fact that they didn't want to know - they were in denial, as many parents in Conyers still are.

The problem has been brought to light but it will not go away without both community and family action. I hope some people take a lesson from this.

Conyers, GA

Dear FRONTLINE

Before I make any comment, or throw stones in any directions, let me say that I am a father of four sons. My two older sons are teenagers and we will have four teen age sons all too soon. My wife and I have struggled to raise them in the fear of God. That is to have an internalized morality that begins with our instructions and example, which becomes theirs in time. Your program made the best case for what Dr. James Dobson and others have been saying for decades. I do not always agree with his passion, but perhaps it is even more needed now. My wife and I pray every day for our sons. We teach them by instruction and example as often as we can. However, nothing is certain in this world, especially given the present American culture. Now comes the hard part to admit. I realized that in all my good intentions as parent I too am guilt. I am a soccer coach on one of my son's teams. We do many activities together as a family. Some parents mention how they gave their kids things to entertain them while engaging in their own fun. It is true in our family as well. Our time spent together is often spent involved in individual activities. We are isolated, being entertained by various forms of electronics. What this produces in my sons, and what I saw in the lives of many kids in your show, is boredom. My sons have forgotten how to play. They do not know how to create their own fun. So I will back away from the computer and T.V. I will take my sons and neighborhood friends and teach them anew how to play "Kick the Can,' and "Capture the Flag." The morals and value I desire to instill in my sons will be caught by them in this activity. The values will be caught through this perhaps more then through any other. At least I will pray that it will be so. Your show opened my eyes to this. Thank you for producing it. I will also pray for the kids and parents. Not just those featured in your show, but all those who struggle to raise their kids as we struggle to raise ours.

Jim Webb
Hermiston, Oregon

Dear FRONTLINE

I am so glad I was able to watch your program. This was extremely enlightening. I must say, however, that I am absolutely appalled at the lack of supervision of these children. Toward the end of the program, a woman stated that she didn't know what the answer was. It seems pretty blindingly obvious to me...parental involvement. Children are growing up left to their own devices. These kids are SCREAMING for attention. My children are in high school and middle school. My high schooler lets me know where she is every minute. I am very involved in her life. My son in middle school is more rebellious. If he isn't home at the expected time, I go LOOKING for him. You may think I'm an at-home mom with time on my hands. No, I am divorced, and I'm a financial advisor with a very prestigious firm. A lot of responsibility. I have made it so I can work some of the time out of my home, and I am home after school every day to make sure those kids are doing what they are supposed to be doing. I may have a heavy hand, but my children feel loved and cared for.

mandy jarvis
san diego, ca

Dear FRONTLINE

I was disheartened to see that so many parents are apparently so uninvolved in their teens lives. The quest for the almighty dollar leaves these children well dressed and driving nice cars but with no limits or direction. Perhaps if Mom or Dad would forego the etra job so that someone was there for these kids to relate to, to ask questions of, to learn from, they wouldn't be out searching for an identity elsewhere. It's a sad state of affairs in this country that the quest for things is more important than raising our children. We are teaching them to be self-centered, uncaring lonely people.

Jack Elias
Longmont, CO

Dear FRONTLINE

My generation has a hard time knowing how to be good parents. We don't want to raise our children the way we were raised with spankings and arbitrary boundaries, but we don't really have good role models for the parents we want to be. Too many parents are overly lenient and the community is not empowered or trusted to provide input in their raising--just try to discipline an unsupervised kid at the mall for misbehavior...

Obviously, the kids in this story were out of control... out of control of the parents and out of control of themselves. I DO NOT share the attitude that their behavior was "sinful" or "evil"... it was self-destructive and they should have been taught WHY they shouldn't engage in indiscriminant sex, drugs, or drinking... not merely left with a "taboo" or the strong-arm tactics of our parents generation.

"Virginity until marriage" may be a beautiful romantic ideal, but totally ignores the importance of sexuality in our adults lives. Getting married without knowing if you are sexually fulfilling to one another is probably a key factor in divorce and adultery. Experimental sexual behavior and talking about sex with your peers is a key part of human sexual development... the problem here is that the parents don't have a good rapport with the children or are not comfortable with discussing the details about sex--perhaps because they themselves have never really come to terms with their own sexuality.

Personally, I'm a little bothered by the prevailing attitude presented in this piece that the "Christian life", abstinence, and "just saying no" is the proper answer. Children should be educated to make informed, moral decisions and should be encouraged to think about their own actions, how they feel, and why or why not they should continue to do those actions. They should be treated like adults, but always given proper supervision and guidance throughout their childhood, teenage years, and perhaps beyond.

Chuck Walbourn
Austin, TX

Dear FRONTLINE

Your program tonight about teens and sex was more shocking than I thought it would be. I grew up around that atmosphere, with two older sisters, but foruntely I never fell in the trap. I am 21 years old and still a virgin and proud of it. I do not regret never going to a party or getting drunk and giving up something that is going to be a preciuos intimiacy between my husband and me. This generation of teenagers is going to be different from gnerations before and we have to figure out how to reach them in a positive way.

Your program did show aspects of the community but I believe it was one-sided. I have never been to that part of Georgia so I do not know the type of community you had to deal with, but your interviews were mainly with upper middle class white families. I know there is more diversity than that in one town, no matter how small it is. It was a good factual interview, but it was one-sided.

My feeling on the whole issue is the reason the majority if these teenagers are like the way they are is becuase of their home situation. Their parents were not there to love them the way they needed to be reached so they found it among friends, unfortunetly they found it in the wrong place.

You have made me more aware of the situation that is happening across America and not just in Georgia. As a future educator, I only hope that one day I can help change the thought pattern of children so they will not grow up thinking the only place to receive love is in each other's beds.

Melody Stoffer
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Dear FRONTLINE

The way that the community and parents are responding to the outbreak and more resent shooting is not any diffent than it would be anywhere else in America. We all want to believe the best about kids because we were once in their shoes-trying to find our way. Not much has changed in my opinion. Well, kids seem to have more access to things than may harm them. But we were exposed to things that could possibly harm us as well, but we chose to steer clear of those things. In my opinion so has the majority of todays youth. I would venture to say the same is true in the community outside Atlanta. It ain't the musicMTV, money,or lack of parents supervision. I think it's a combination of lot of things. We have to put our finger on it soon, so this type of thing doesn't happen again. I can't help, but feeling that we wouldn't be having this discussion if this happened in a minority neighborhood.

gene williams
missouri city, texas

Dear FRONTLINE

It seems that the sex education classes that stress abstinence only seem to not have worked. When will adults provide a REAL and HONEST sex education program to students. They are going to find out the information anyway. The only question is what attitudes and behavior they will have after they have it. If parents only want the information to come from other kids then all they have to do is remain silent or lie about the real facts of life.

Mike Arpin
Coffeyville, Kansas