Dear FRONTLINE

I wept watching your story. 32 years ago I married a man like Darrel: handsome, honest, hardworking, and unable to really "feel," or at least to express his feelings. We had three fine sons, and while he spent time with them, he couldn't share feelings with them, either. He expected me to do all the physical labor associated with their care and everything inside the house, and I did. Twenty years ago I got a full scholarship to go to law school, and I went. His resentment was almost palpable for the entire three years. He couldn't have cared less when I passed the bar and was sworn in at the state capitol. It barely registered on his radar screen.

Years later, he said he thought I was going to law school as a "ticket out" of our marriage. Of course, the reason I went was to fulfill a childhood dream and to improve the family's economic position so we could do more for our sons.

Many times I suggested that we get counseling to try to get closer to one another and have a loving, caring, partnership of equals. He said that stuff was BS and what was I complaining about--he earned a good living and we were able to provide our sons with all the opportunities that we would have liked to have in our own youth.

We are still married, and I am 55 years old and he, 58. In fact, we have a baby grandson! If you looked at us from outside, you would see a happy couple. But from the inside, we are just a man and a woman who live together, share finances and a bed and the satisfaction of having provided for our sons. And the kids know it.

Bravo to you, Darrel, for having the courage to become what Jewish people call a mensch--a real person--to become truly engaged with your wife and daughters, even if it meant surrendering some of your male pride. If only my husband had had the courage to do the same! Our emotional lives would be so much more fulfilling.

Darrel's willingness to be vulnerable and open no matter what the cost has made winners of all five of you. I don't mean to downplay Juanita's contribution; it's just that I couldn't do it alone, and I don't think she could have, either. I hope "The Farmer's Wife" will inspire other husbands and fathers, and I wish many, many years of health and happiness to the Buschkoetter family.

Creve Coeur, Missouri

Dear FRONTLINE

I watched your story for the first time last year. Since then it has been on the three different PBS stations I receive, and I keep watching it over and over.

We have little in common. I am a single mother, a white collar worker raising a son and living in the suburbs of Boston. I don't know anything about farming or farm life. Yet your story touches me every time. I admire your courage in face of such overwhelming adversity, your love for each other, your patience and inherently clever choices in raising your children. I feel like the cards are stacked against me sometimes and loose it, but I keep going. I just get the feeling that I don't do it quite as gracefully as you do :>.

Juanita I read you got some braces. How wonderful! I feel so proud of how much you advance from the start to the end of this film. One can see you come into your own over time. Darrell I guess you epitomize what it means to work hard for what you believe in. Both of you are so lucky to have a partner who will stand by you through thick or thin.

Suzan Kincaid
Boston, MA

Dear FRONTLINE

I left a msg. yesterday - but I didn't elaborate on the circumstances.

We were dairyfarmers. A family owned dairy for app. 20 years before I came... before I married David. I was, in David's words, "green".

A city girl. I learned quickly. I loved it. There were numerous problems involving family. From financial to when to mow our grass. sigh Seems so long ago now. He divorced me 7 years ago. He married his old high-school sweetheart, whom he had previously told me would have cost him the dairy if he married her. He was right. He lost the dairy about a year... maybe 2 years after they married. I once saw her in a $300.00 leather outfit. I ask you... in such a small town... And a $30,000.00 car! We never bought that expensive stuff when I was married to him! Any, the dairy is ancient history now.

I've pulled my life back together. It's taken every bit of the seven years to do it. David... is a bitter - angry - reclusive "Junker".

I recently moved back to this area. It's the first time I've lived here since the divorce. It hurt to come back here at first. After I saw how angry and bitter he is, I felt releaved that I don't have to deal with that! Yet, I've also discovered that the feelings for him can be rekindled at the slightest suggestion of a reunion. Something that is not forthcoming, therefore is unhealthy for me to entertain. sigh I married him for life. I can't help it if he's married to someone else. I'm still married to him in my heart, spirit and soul. Pathetic, huh. I'm dealing with it. It's not as pathetic as I make it sound in this thumb-nail sketch.

Early, TX

Dear FRONTLINE

I live in an urban environment with most of our neighbors plugged into the internet and reclusive in their day to day lives. The sense of community that the people in your farm community share is enviable.

Your willingess to share your story has touched those of us who often take for granted the truly important things in life; family, friends and loved ones, especially in a time of need. Lastly, your story provided me with a renewed faith that God truly does help those who help themselves and gave me courage to believe that relationships can endure even the most difficult of times.

Thank you for inspiring me to

never give up hope in the face of adversity. You are a truly remarkable couple and are raising very special children as a result.

Susan McRae
concord, MA

Dear FRONTLINE

,

Your story is very inspring to me. My husband and I live in the city and I spent a year on a small farm with my grandpa when I was a child. However even with that small amount of experence I still see alot of similarity in our lives. My husband and I both go to college and work. We are struggling and there is a tremendous amount of stress.

In your story I feel comfort and strength. I have watch this series twice and each time I cry more with you and feel your frustration. I am glad that things are getting better for you all. Your whole family is in our prayers. Be brave and strong.

Jennifer Crocker
Fort Worth, Texas

Dear FRONTLINE

I would like to thank you for your trust in opening the story of your lives to us all. It takes great courage to expose the truth we call our lives,and when such a thing happens, it is always utterly compelling.

I am an actor living in New York City and there are days when I just don't want to get up to face the unsurmountable odds. But I do. And I watched you both do it also. We do it to keep our dream and let our hearts live truthfully. Juanita, your quiet resolve and composure hauntingly complimented the isolation of the beautiful landscape.

Thank you for the compelling and touching piece of Americana.

Carol Greski
Woodside, NY

Dear FRONTLINE

I am not a farmer; I'm a single mom.

I don't live in the country; I live in a small city.

But I can relate to this couple's story on so many levels: the struggle with poverty, dealing with judgmental family and creditors, feeling a suffocating pressure.

I congratulate Juanita and Darryl for their transparency and vulnerability. I am sure they had no idea of the impact they would have. Their story has encouraged me.

As for the documentary, it was beautiful and lyrical.

Colorado Springs, CO

Dear FRONTLINE

I was raised a farmers daughter watching my parents struggle just as you did.

Juanita I see so much of my mother in you. Your courage and determination, they make you a very special women and your children will forever respect you for it! I am thirty years old and every day now that I am a parent I do more and more! I remember the bad years when we would get hailed out or no rain at all and mom creating the meals like you talked about made of nothing but tasted great and we were glad to have it! I cried through this movie it really touched home. The inlaws or should I say outlaws, the critical remarks, borrowing money from them and feeling like the outcast at Christmas.

My father no longer farms, he took a fulltime job 17 years ago and all of his land is in CRP programs just to pay off all his debt to the Land Bank. If farming is your passion then pursue it with that same passion and God will Bless your works! God Bless you and your family and your operation! Many prosperous years before you!

Charla Shults
Pampa, Texas

Dear FRONTLINE

You know in this world today, you either got it or you don't.

We have 3 kids 1 car and can't seem to get ahead, since we

only have the one car, I could work but that holds me back. We had to file bankrutpcy this year we will never get ahead and be able to enjoy life.

Sometimes you think why do we keep doing this, and what is this teaching our kids.There is no one out there now days who will even help you at all.What ever happen to help one another? So

we just stay in the same rut

day after day,haha.

Thank you,and

may the angels in heaven shower each and everyone of you with all the happiness for all the rest of your lives.

Stayce Roberts
Fort Worth, Texas

Dear FRONTLINE

This letter goes directly from my heart to Juanita's...She is the most compelling, faithful, honest woman I've seen in a long time. If more women were like her, maybe there would be less divorces. Throughout the three day program that aired on PBS, not once did she raise her voice to her children OR her husband. I have great respect for Juanita and Darrell. Like it was mentioned, he doesn't go out to the bars, all he does it work. I would give everything to personally meet both of them, what strength they found in each other. Bless both of them to have the courage to stick it out together.

Christi Kirk
Rockwall, Tx

Dear FRONTLINE

I channel surfed Sunday night, August 29th when I caught the first few minutes of your life and was instantly hooked. I read all the essays and updates and behind the scenes on the internet before submitting my response. This is my my family's response-- "AWESOME".

The common denominator is not farming, it is believing. We are nowhere near farmers... we live on a rural beach north of Daytona Beach that is being discovered day by day. Our dream is to raise our twin girls, they are 12 nowin a safe community with as many amenities we can provide without "spoiling" them.

My career started in Jacksonville, FL as a cameraman for the the PBS station Ch. 7 WJCT-TV and I've done some documentaries in the 1970s. I eventually became a corporate TV advertising manager for a cable TV company and was asked to leave my job in January of 1997, about the time you finally found some relief in your bumper crop. Our dream of keeping our home was put in jeopardy and it has been a struggle to start a career again at the age of 47. A TV job in Flagler Beach at the level I had is not at all possible.

My wife went to school and then found a job. In the meantime, I am trying to get started in the insurance industry. We saw all the parallels in our lives. I even wrote a long letter in her birthday card last week that expressed the same sentiments you conveyed to Jaunita, Darrel. You are a man to be greatly respected as far as I am concerned. I have always respected the individual farmer. You are constantly fighting the corporate giants and are at their competitive pricing mercy. As far as your equipment, I cannot believe one International tractor can do so much. Ironically, my brothers and I were brought up on an International "LoBoy" in the 1960s when we groomed my parents 10 acre orange grove in South Jacksonville.

In closing, I would like to repeat, my wife and I do not feel this revelation is just about farming, as I'm sure most viewers do, it's about commitment to yourself, your family, your love for your family.... your dream. Congratulations on your achievements... from your braces to your farm and family love for your daughters. I have always put the material things aside for the immaterial spirtiual treasure of the "family" and I am witness of your example to the world through the Sutherland's cameras and I thank you all for that. If you Buschkoetters make another trip to DisneyWorld... we live about 1 hour north of there.. We have a big beach house with a spare suite.. privacy and bathroom on 2 acres of land. I'll show Darrell how to catch some redfish and Cassy, my wife, can show Jaunita how to make a killer Key Lime pie. The girls have plenty of pre-teen comparisons too, I'm sure. Congratulations!

Bob Green
Flagler Beach, FL

Dear FRONTLINE

I was touched. Since I was a kid I have always felt bad that TV doesnt show real people like you, me, my folks half the people I know who struggle to make this world, but do it wondering how they will pay the bills,whether the truck will start, who to pay and not to pay, and how to deal with stuck up relatives and nay sayers.

As a 52 year old guy who is single and about given up on the idea of getting married, your story inspired me not to get up and love and romance.

The real essence of love is human beings showing how to fight and struggle together to live against wrong things like the way farms are treated in this country.

The real love isnt kissing and making love in some kind of movie way, but fighting every day to get up in the morning and get yourself to the job for your family, taking all the crap that comes, still figuring out ways to hold your heads high.

What we need is a world that puts working farmers like you on top, not the bottom.

I am happy for one brief moment, PBS let us see this.

Marcel Black
North Miami, FL

Dear FRONTLINE

My husband and I have just finished watching the first two parts of The Farmers Wife.

While neither one of us has ever worked the land, it has given us new empathy for the hard work and heartbreak that those who provide food for our table endure. Beyond that, the arguments and the stresses experienced by this couple mirror those in our relationship; the roles each takes on, the upbringing of the children.

My husband related to Darrell as a hard-working man nagged by his wife to give more attention to the family.

I sympathized with Juanita who worried most about feeding her family day-to-day. In the end, I admire that this couple survived and came out the better for it. It is a testament to thier love, which showed through everyday that Darrel came home to talk to his wife.

maria camposeco
SF, CAlif

Dear FRONTLINE

I have lived in the city all my life, but I just watched my marraige on tv.

We both work in low paying jobs in the health care field.We have two sons, one of whom is autistic. I felt better watching the effect finncial troubles have on other marraiges...They sounded so much like us, I was amazed.

My husband has three jobs, works all the time.It really makes you stop and think is it worth it to work so hard and have no time or energy for your family- the people you supposedly are doing it for.I too feel that my husband doesn't understand how I feel, or support my work.His work always comes first. There is never enough money, that's the only thing we really fight about. People in such different circumstances are really so much alike. We both loved this show!

Kalamazoo, Mich.

Dear FRONTLINE

I have watched this show twice now and was so moved by it and by you and your family. The commitment that you both share to each other as well as to the farming community is admirable, to say the least.

You are by far, 2 of the strongest people I have everseen, strongest spiritualy,strongest physically and strongest committed to a life of your choosing. I am not from a farming community so this is foreign to me, but I will say that I feel like I know you and that feels like an honor. If you and those beautiful girls are ever in California please let us know, we have 2 daughters about your girls age and we would love to have you for a meal. Bless you all.

Kyle Willis
Millbrae, California