Dear FRONTLINE,

correlation does NOT mean cause. Let's find out what the real problems are. It's amazing that a political party that has shouted so loud for less government has intruded in, and is attempting to control, the most private part of people lives. Let's study and then problem solve the real problem, not someone's ideological conception of the problem.

detroit, mi

Dear FRONTLINE,

I feel our society could benefit by teaching premarriage education on finances, communication skills and parenting skills.

Let's first help the individual mature, then let them decide if marriage is right for them. If the government must get involved then possibly rewarding people who are living in a healthy marriage and providing for their children, taking off the marriage tax penalty.

Also, providing decent jobs with a decent wage could help marriages stay together.

Sandy, UT

Dear FRONTLINE,

One constant theme in each of the couples' stories presented in "Let's Get Married" was children that overwhelmingly appeared to be the result of unplanned pregnancy. May

be these women would be better off with convenient and affordable birth control. Why does oral contraception still cost >$1/day when the technology has been around for the last 30 years? Why are there still incredibly long waiting lines at county clinics? No wonder there are so many children raised in such adverse conditions. I think the government/special interest groups really "missed the boat" on this issue. Anyway, thanks for the show, frontline: first rate, as always!

Houston, Texas

Dear FRONTLINE,

I agree with the grandmothers- make sure that young black men and women have decent jobs and responsibility for their families will follow. I do believe that children do better in a emotionally healthy 2 parent home. However, because of pressures from his very conservative church, my son spent 7 years in a marriage to an abusive, emotionally sick woman and is now fighting to gain custody of his child.

I am very afraid that if the government emphasizes marriage as the cureall for all our social problems, other marriages like my son's will become prevalent and money needed for important social programs will be drastically cut.

Peoria, IL

Dear FRONTLINE,

Why is there no mention of the ease with which young people have children, and how much easier they are allowed to leave them? As a society, why are we so quick to proclaim the lifelong commitment of marriage, but not the greater responsibility, challenge, and commitment that is parenthood?

Where are the federal funds for this initiative? If we examine our government's education spending, the availability of quality healthcare for children and expectant mothers, and the number of children allowed to languish in poverty, then we would see that as a nation we do not value our children enough--not enough to make the difficult and politically unpopular choices to help them. Rather than spending tax dollars to convince a reluctant twenty-year-old to marry, why don't we educate her, train her for a profession, and give her the strength of purpose to wait to have children until she is better emotionally and financially prepared?

A Gordon
Montgomery, Alabama

Dear FRONTLINE,

I don't doubt that--all else equal--children do better when their parents have a healthy marriage than when they have an unhealthy or no marriage. But all else is not equal. Citing elevated probabilities of dropping out, substance abuse, out-of-wedlock childbearing among children of single parents misleadingly suggests it is *because* of single parenthood rather than a host of factors that underlie both single parenthood and these undesirable outcomes.

How well has research on marriage taken such factors into account in searching for a "causal" relation between nonmarriage and children's well-being? I also want to know whether research has addressed the very specific questions of *for whom* and/or *under what circumstances* is getting married for the sake of the children likely to actually benefit children? For example, given the higher risk for divorce among couples who marry younger, are "shotgun weddings"--even among cordial, even romantically involved, couples--the answer for this group? For whom/under what circumstances Will the potential benefits of marriage outweigh the potential harm of a potential subsequent divorce?

Do we know enough about the answers to these questions to have the government involved in encouraging/discouraging marriages?

Sharon McGroder
Sterling, VA

Dear FRONTLINE,

I was very intrigued by the in-depth study on marriage. It's great that so many influential people are realizing that the institutions of marriage and families are in dire straights. I commend our government officials for taking a stand and striving to educate Americans so the divorce rate will drop and less children will be reared in single parent families.

However, the root cause of this huge, painful problem is not a lack of birth control availability, marriage tax penalties, ignorance about the realities of marriage, or a faulty welfare system. America has a huge divorce rate and children growing up in single parent homes because we, as an entire culture, have embraced an incredibly ridiculous set of moral and values, if they can even be called that.

Everything worthwhile is gained through dilligence and perseverance. It's easy to sleep around and justify it as "finding oneself." It is not easy to take a stand and save oneself for the person they marry. It is not easy to commit to one person and one person only for the rest of one's life. But it's worth it. Once Americans return to the morals and values that our country was founded on they can be found in the Bible, by the way, then our families will begin to strengthen and make a positive difference in society.

Summer Rawlings
Traverse City, Michigan

Dear FRONTLINE,

I really can't give enough praise for the topic that you raised on tonight's broadcast regarding marriage. I am an African American woman who grew up in the Inner city of Houston to a household that consisted of my mother and father married for over 30 years now. There were, however, many children who did not have the privilege of being reared in a two parent household. I attribute my mother not being an American citizen to her strength and willingness to make her marriage work regardless of the trials many may not share this opinion, however based on my exposure, many American women hastens to end their marriages.

Conversely, I must assertly agree with the statistics. Most of my high school friends who grew up in a single parent household either found themselves on the wrong side of the law or became pregnant while in high school.

I believe based on my assessment that the institution of marriage builds stable homes, thus creating a stable community and country. I must "emphasize" a healthy stable marriage. I too am married and have been for the past 7 years.

Tampa, Florida

Dear FRONTLINE,

I think the idea that government is attempting to get poor women to marry verges on the obscene! Further, not all children are better off in two parent households. I was raised in a two parent household of alcoholism and extreme dysfunction. As a result, all seven children have had many problems, legally and otherwise. There are certainly more ways in which to ensure healthier families than an intrusive marriage policy. I would also like to add that I raised one of my children by myself, and he is fine. Coming from a one parent household has not made him a mad killer or anything like that. Actually, he is exceptionally bright, has plans for college, and holds down a full time job. My point is that it takes more than two bodies in a house to raise children.

sioux falls, sd

Dear FRONTLINE,

I teach elementary school in San Antonio, TX at a minority school. The marriage issue or the lack of marriage in a child's life is a curse. I have dealt with 24 yr old single moms who have four kids, the oldest being seven. Single mothers who have been on crack for 10 years. These children have no fathers. My classes are predominately boys. Their ill mannered, insolent, and fascinated by sport stars. They aren't able to read. They're failing their classes. Mom, if she works works the graveyard shift, and that 5th grader lives by herself. At our middle school we had 15 kids arrested for fighting--10 girls. Elementary school children are becoming more viloent, drug smart, pronographically smart, and fearless of authority. Too often, I feel the school has become the parent of last resort because the family is broken. Each child is born by the biological coupling of a man and woman who should be that baby's father and mother. And, the problems in education will only get worse, until the family is healed.

San antonio, tx

Dear FRONTLINE,

I was happy that PBS broadcasted a show on this current issue. I'm part of the younger generation myself and a lot of people get married "just because". Not everyone holds that it is a lifetime commitment that you make before God. I'm 23 and not married. I hope that when I do marry, I marry someone I know I will be able to work things out with. No relationship is perfect. I think that's something else people don't get. Everyone is going to fight and disagree. That's reality. Open your eyes.

Melanie Hammel
Indianapolis, IN

Dear FRONTLINE,

I believe that the couple wanting to get married should prove that they have dated for at least 1 yr. before they tie the knot. In addition, I think 10 sessions of premarital counseling might be very helpful before getting married. I also believe that before a couple are allowed to divorce with the exception of adultery or physical/sexual abuse they should attend at least 15 marital counseling sessions. Being married isn't happy ever after and couples need to have a reality check. The same problems they had before going into the marraige are probably going to still be there after they marry.

Lon Cartwright
Beechgrove, TN

Dear FRONTLINE,

It is amazing how PBS could put on a full hour program dealing with the decline in marriage today and not mention once the primary cause for this decline. That cause, of course, is the welfare system and its perverse system of incentives. For a poor couple with children to marry means the loss of any number of financial incentives including weldfare cash payments, clothing allowances, housing assistance, health care, job trining, educational benefits, etc. Is it any wonder that so many poor couples elect to live together rather than get married?

As simple a thing as the last tax cut contained the interesting situation whereby if Mary and John were to married with a child they would get $600 of their taxes back, but if they were unmarried they would get $800. This $200 reward for not being married is just one more negative incentive. Yet we hear on programs such as this that the government should not get involved in the marriage problem. Not get involved!! They are the marriage problem!!!

Robert Nash
Crowley, LA

Dear FRONTLINE,

I truly believe in marriage. Being that I'm a Christian I believe

in separations of church and state. Marriage is a union base on soul consent and maturity .It's a choice that truly needs to be considered. I'm a single parent never been married raising two daughters at 40 years old. The Beauty of it all is that their father is much involve in their lives. We're not living together or having a relationship. I do teach my daughter that marriage is great. My views to cut American divorce should be church based.

Eloise Wiggins
Rochester, New York

Dear FRONTLINE,

I firmly believe that encouraging marriage will evenutally have a positive impact on many of society's ills. Because traditional, pro-marriage religions play a part in fewer people today than in the past, we may have to rely on government to take on the role formerly played by religious institutions.

However, I also believe it is more important for government to strongly discourage people from having children before they can afford to support them. Government should not pay for abortions, but government should legalize abortions everywhere. Government should have policies that encourage abstinence or contraception before people are financially ready for children.

South Orange, NJ