Dear FRONTLINE,

It would be nice if Kip Kinkel's story could honestly be described as unique and unusual. However, I fear that there are many other adolescents in this country like Kip.

Surviving the mental and emotional scars from one's teenage years has never been an easy task. These days, it seems to be growingly difficult for teenagers to live up the task of being "normal", or at least "acceptable" to themselves, peers, family, and society. Being considered normal and acceptable is such a critical goal for self-esteem deprived adolescents. That seems to be all Kip Kinkel really wanted.

Kip, like many teenagers, was convinced that he would never be normal or acceptable to the people he cared about. He felt like a "horrible son" and could no longer handle disappointing his parents or himself. The thing about Kip that was tragically different from most teens, however, was his hidden homicidal tendency. As a result, he was convinced that putting his beloved parents out of their misery before taking himself out was the only thing he could do. However, something held him back from his plan to kill himself, and instead he went to school the next day to take out his frustrations on fellow students.

I am afraid that if Kip does spend every day of the rest of his life in prison as sentenced, then he will spend every day wishing he had finished his plan and killed himself. How could he possibly ever recover emotionally from such a traumatic series of events?

There is no one to blame for Kip's tragedy, unless everyone is blamed. The parents, doctors, friends, and Kip himself did everything they could to help Kip lead a "normal" and "acceptable" life. Their goal was simply out of their reach.

I don't blame Kip's parents for taking him off medication and stopping his therapy. Those things are expensive, and the doctors had claimed that Kip had made great progress. Nor do I blame the parents for buying him guns, as outrageous as that may sound. They knew he had a huge interest in guns and were trying to foster it in a safe and caring manner. Kip was going to get his hands on guns with or without their involvement, so I think the argument is fairly moot.

Obviously Kip's parents cared very much about their son and tried many things to help him. It's not their fault that nothing they tried worked. It sounds as though he simply loved them too much, to the point where his fear of being a disappointment to them outweighed his ability to judge right or wrong. In the end, the combination of Kip's fascination with guns, the homicidal tendencies he always fought so hard to suppress, and his anguish over being a disappointment to himself and his family all combined to result in the tragedy.

I believe that everybody can learn something from this tragic story. Hopefully Kip's story can help some people identify signs of depression or other serious problems in children afflicted by them, so that appropriate help can be administered in time to prevent extensive emotional suffering. But I don't think knowing Kip's story will help prevent stories like his from unfolding in the future. Every day, teens nationwide will continue to experience the same feelings Kip did. And eventually, maybe tomorrow, maybe five months from now, some other kid will snap the same way Kip did. And many people will sit and watch the news and scratch their heads and ask "Why? Why did that kid do that?".

The answer, as it was for Kip, will be that the child's hope had vanished. The hope that possibly tomorrow could be better, that things couldn't stay as horrible as they are forever. In his writings, Kip said that when his hope was gone, people would die. Now that his prophecy has come true, will he ever be able to find hope again from inside prison walls? I pray for his sake that the answer is "yes".

Paul Donahoe
Newark, DE

Dear FRONTLINE,

Reading your section on victims statements, a question came to my mind; Why did you not include ALL of the victims statements?
If you were truly concerned for the public understanding how the people involved, ALL of the people involved, really felt, You WOULD have included ALL of the statements made by ALL of the PEOPLE INVOLVED!
WHY did you pick and choose whose statements were included.
As you are funded by Public monies and private donations, you could have afforded, if you had really cared?to, to provide the space necessary!
But since you DIDN'T provide the space.....!!!!!!

Michael A. Nickolauson
Springfield, Oregon

Dear FRONTLINE,

After viewing the tragic documentary, I wanted to drop to my knees and pray for a greater understanding of pshycological illness by all. It is not without empathy that I view how Kipp's parents many times over attempted to find a nitch for thier lost son. Have we not all at one time aggreed to allow a love one to explore interests other than those we are comfortable with in hopes that that individual will find happiness, self efficy, and structure and responsibility?

For me, one of the greater errors was the ceasation of Kip's prozac. How can anyone believe that such a drug only taken for 3 months can suddenly be haulted without deterioration in the boy's mental health. Unfortunately, the boys parents were unaware and the medical profession let them and society down by not providing the appropriate guidlines.

I am so saddened.

Erin O'Kelley
New Braunfels, Texas

Dear FRONTLINE,

I watched the program last night, and felt compelled to read more about it today on this site. After reading many of the discussion points, what I want to say is that there are no easy, simple solutions to complex problems. I learned that in college while earning my degree in Social Work, and it rings so true. We as humans feel the need to blame, blame, blame. This blame-game is easily seen in all of the previous discussion points. Interestingly though, notice how many different people, places and things are blamed. There is no one common fault, because there IS NO one fault of why this situation happened. I believe that the parents were supportive, very much so, and did the best they could to support "Kip". Better than so many parents do today.... The bottom line is that unfortunately there is mental illness, there is murder, there are violent, angry people/kids. The "human issue" is much, much more complex than parenting styles, video games, guns, and computer generated questionares to find risk. All we can do is the BEST we can do, and sometimes that isn't even enough. ...

Angela Hudson

Dear FRONTLINE,

I watched the report on Frontline, and have, of course, looked at the website. I have to tell you that I found your report riveting and very professionally done....
One of the things that was not in the broadcast, but I found on your website was
about the lawsuits.
If, our judicial system, and we as a society were to recognize or even allow law suites against gun manufactures and the media, we might as well give it up.
I have never, in my life, ever seen a gun pick itself up, load itself with bullets, aim it at someone and fire.
To sue the manufactures would be equivalent to suing car manufacturers for making cars that drunk drivers get in and kill someone with. While you are at it, don't forget the people who made the tires, spark plugs, gasoline, etc that are on that car. Or maybe the beer distributor?
As for blaming the media, who lets the kids watch that stuff? Or play those games? Who left the gun accessible to the kid? Who GAVE the gun to the kid? The boy and the father hold most of the blame, at least in my opinion, in this case, as well as the others in Jonesboro, Columbine, etc.
This notion of blaming companies and manufacturers just points a blinding spotlight at the heart of the problem. We do not accept responsibility for our actions, or those of the children we raised. We are on a path of self-destruction....

Trace Hixon
Kansas City, MO

Dear FRONTLINE,

Your show was very well done, although disturbing, as others have mentioned. It would be much easier if we could blame Kip's family or society for his actions. I think kids like Kip seek out the dark and violent websites, weapons, music and movies and will find them even if they are probibited in the school or home. The key is changing the desire for such sinister activities. Kip was clearly depressed. According to your show, Prozac was effective in lifting his depression. Society is so against using medicine for emotional problems "He'll snap out of it" yet for some people that is the only cure. Maybe, hopefully, your show and others like it will let people know that they don't have to suffer and that going off medication can have serious consequences.

Katie Sleigh

Dear FRONTLINE,

The subject matter of why teenagers have turned so heavily to violence is very interesting to me. I was glued to my television eager to know all about the life journey of Kip Kinkel. Wanting to know what could have possibly triggered such actions. The story was reported in an excellent manner.

The part that haunted me the most was the final minutes of tape recorded conversation. No matter what crime this child had just committed, as a mother, one questions came to my mind. Was there anyone there to hold him and calm his confusion and fears. I went to sleep last night praying for someone to enter his life and give him the help he needs.

Tanya Hart
Peoria, IL

Dear FRONTLINE,

This Frontline episode claimed to be a story about
"a boy from a solid, middle-class nurturing family who
grew up in a good community," and "probes what turned
'shy and likeable' Kip into what police call 'a cold-blooded
killer."

To me, an example of nurturing parents would be
Mr. and Mrs. Rogers from the PBS series. I'm certain they
never bought guns for any of their children, as the Kinkel's
did.

And, would a "good community" have a school that screens that
film version of Romeo + Juliet, for any of its students. America's
best known film critic, Roger Ebert, called the film a "mess."

Narration at the beginning and end of this episode used the
"nurturing family/good community" language. I think Frontline
still purports to be a documentary series. It would be better
if the narration and promotion of its episodes didn't contain
fiction.

Jerry Rush

Dear FRONTLINE,

Dear Frontline,
This program was an amazingly deep and thorough examination of a family. We watched the show, hoping to see beneath the headlines to something familiar and recognizable in Kip.
This program reminded us that the first victim of this tragedy was Kip himself. Knowing this does not mitigate his actions and the tragedy he created, but it made me reconsider our reaction to children like Kip. Perhaps we should cast blame a little less quickly, and find compassion in our hearts a little sooner.

Kassandra Stirling

Dear FRONTLINE,

I am 26 years old, and I have been working in public schools for 5 years now. Please, don't blame Thurston High on Marilyn Manson,Nine Inch Nails, William Shakespeares' Romeo and Juliet,or the Internet. Kip Kinkel was very seriously mentally ill and it slipped by all of them. His dad bought him guns. But he illegally purchased more weapons and ammo than anyone knew about, and I doubt Marilyn Manson told Kip to kill. The sick schizophrenic voices in his head told him to kill,not loud music. The killings at Thurston High were an American tragedy, and as a substitute teacher, Thurston and Columbine have irrevocably changed my life. Do not trivialize them by saying that these students did these things as a result of music or Hollywood.Frontline's excellent report provided me with much information that I did not know. And the tape of Kinkel's confession kept me awake that night. It was the sound of a child who had lost his mind.

Brandon Washington
Champaign, IL

Dear FRONTLINE,

As a fifteen year old girl growing up in today's warped version of society, allow me to share my perspective on the world my peers, including Kip Kinkel, share:
Parents no longer care about right or wrong. They are merely concerned with good enough and not good enough.
Kids seldom raised by human beings, and almost never by two cohabitating parental figures, have nowhere to turn except to other kids who are being raised or not raised the same way. Their ideals come from television and the internet.
The entertainment industry doesn't care at all about America's youth. They tell you that what you're listening to is the voice of your generation, but the people singing are at least ten years older than you are, and they really don't care about artistic expression. They're not out to corrupt the country's youth either. Most of the time they just want to sell you something. ...

Adults are not stupid, they see what is happening to the youth of today. So they give us pills, Ritalin and Prozac, tell us to straighten up and fly right, and send us out into the world to fend for ourselves until we go home again at three. Feeling that their job is done, they stay out of our lives until we bring some kind of catastrophe down on our own heads, a lost soccer game, perhaps, or heaven forbid a bad grade. They yell and they punish, and then they get back to their lives. Parents have as little to do with their teenagers as possible. Feeling estranged from their parents, teenagers have very little to do with them as well.
All the advocating of family values in the world isn't going to change the fact that there really is no family any more.
A teenager's biggest problem is loneliness.
This is a general statement based on my own observations and perception, and is in no way intended to seem disrespectful or offensive to the deceased parents of Kip Kinkel, or any other parent that is watching helplessly as their children slip away and emerge again as confused, intimidating half-adult creatures that they can no longer recognize. ...

The only solution, as I see it, is for adults to actually care about teenagers, for the sake of the teenagers. Nothing can change and nothing can be solved until people realize that there is a human being beneath the trench coat and inside the Abercrombie sweat shirt.
And while we're all speculating about the shortcomings of our society, Kip Kinkel sits in a jail cell, another victim of today's uncaring culture.

Mary Nassef
fairfield, ct

Dear FRONTLINE,

We were the adoptive parents of a child with many of the traits of Kip.
Early on, it was evident that our son didn't respond to "normal behavior management". We tried everything as he grew up--doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, medication, special programs, camps, sports, tutors, etc. Teachers some who were understanding and some who were not used every method and tactic they knew. ...

We were examined, treated, and trained by counsellors. And every aspect of our private and family lives was exposed to scrutiny. We did our best to celebrate our son's accomlishments and minimize our chastisements when he did wrong. But it was to no avail.

Our son sexually assualted his sister; pulled a knife on his brother and tried to strangle him with a piece of rope. He punched holes in the walls, sexually assaulted a fellow student, threw snowballs and ice at cars passing on a major highway near our home.
And that's just the tip of the proverbial "iceberg".
We tried, cried, and tried some more. We were condemned as rotten parents by our neighbours. But we had two other children who have made out just fine.

I thought this Frontline documentary on Kip Kinkel was a very balanced presentation. Kip, like our son, seemed to be every parent's nightmare. It is so easy to blame the parents! ...

I sincerely hope that those who are called on to treat kids like Kip and work with their families are able to draw some lessons from this. And I further trust that some who are so quick to lay blame on the parents, come to realize that some children's behaviors are so difficult to manage that they are beyond the scope of normal parenting. Maybe through all of this, there will be some new treatment methods and/or medications to help these kids and their families.

Sharon Freeman

Dear FRONTLINE,

As a social worker who enjoys working with the adolescent population, I saw many similarities in this case to many cases I have seen in the recent past. Upon reflection, a new question came to my mind. "If school shootings have become the 'white male' version of displaying anger and feelings of displacement in society, how do other groups, particularly white females, show their feelings of anger and displacement?"

I do not wish to diminish the importance of uncovering the anger behind this group, but I also see the importance of exploring how other groups of teens deal with isolation, disconnection with the same-sex parent, academic disabilities, etc. ...

Brandy Carver
Durham, NC

Dear FRONTLINE,

Several participants in this discussion have alluded to the ěeasy availability of gunsî. This statement is simply not factually correct. Forty or fifty years ago it was much easier for an adolescent to obtain firearms than it is today. Prior to 1964 there were no federal laws, and very few state or local laws, regulating the sale or possession of handguns or semi-automatic rifles. Any child could buy them by mail with no questions asked, and yet incidents like this were virtually non-existent.

Of course it is literally true that, if we could wave a magic wand and wipe all guns out of existence, then people would no longer use guns to kill other people. But this begs the more fundamental question of what has happened to American society? Why are we raising a generation of children who are so morally and ethically challenged that they canít see a firearm without succumbing to an irresistible urge to pick it up and kill someone? ...

The other sickening incident in this show was the English teacher who showed her young students the obscenely - almost pornographically - violent version of Romeo & Juliet. Apparently - even after the fact - it has not entered her mind that this could have contributed to the tragedy. This clearly demonstrates the ethical & moral bankruptcy of the American public school system. It is hardly a coincidence that these school shootings have occurred only in public schools, and never in private or parochial schools.

John Wallace
San Antonio, TX

Dear FRONTLINE,

Throughout your report, one topic was obviously absent: there was no mention of any religious affiliation, faith or God. I can only wonder if a loving Minister, a youth group, a faith community would have provided this family with other ways to deal with their problems and would have given Kip the acceptance and positive reinforcement that he so desperately need. I cannot help but believe it would have.

Florianna Blanton
Ithaca, New York

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